


The Sound of Family

by Nyctolovian



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Bodyswap, Depression, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, Insecure Keith (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Post Season 4, Slight Nudity, Team Voltron Family, because we're going to talk about self-destructive behaviours for our two main characters, body switch, can be read as gen fic, hinted romance - Freeform, im really sorry the others dont actually show up as often, insecurities overload, mentioned child abuse, nothing explicit though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-05 11:47:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12793893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyctolovian/pseuds/Nyctolovian
Summary: As Keith swung the weapon in his hand, which he quickly realised was a bayard, it transformed. But instead of the usual comfortable weight of a blade, he felt the weapon tip forward, completely unbalanced.He made a noise of surprise, only to notice this voice was too high-pitched, too smooth to be his own. He looked down and saw blue armour instead of his black suit and in his right hand was a red rifle.“Keith?” he heard his own voice say. The figure tried to crouch but fell down with a grunt. “Keith, buddy, is that you?”His vision refocused and when he was able to see clearly again, he found himself gazing into his own... eyes? “Who are you?” he demanded.[When Keith and Lance accidentally swap bodies, hidden scars and wounds, both literal and metaphorical, are revealed and the two boys realise that there are some things that really shouldn't be avoided any longer.]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to thank @galaxy-gayrrison from tumblr for helping me beta-read this and encouraging me. Without her, I think this train wreck wouldn't even make it this far!
> 
> Really though, this is my first time posting anything here and joining a fest so this has been really difficult for me. Still, this was super fun to write and I may have been panicking the entire way but I made it! I was also debating between making this gen or Klance (I know, I'm super typical) and decided to make it have minimal romance. You probably have to squint really hard to squeeze the klance in this! Haha!
> 
> If there are any mistakes, you could drop me a comment or something! Other than that, please enjoy! :)

Keith could feel his head expand with irritation because Lance just kept talking non-stop as they walked around in the dark labyrinth of a cave. How on earth does a person even have that many things to talk about? During the first thirty minutes, it had felt like someone was finally scratching the itch on Keith’s back that he couldn’t reach. It had been so long since he left for the Blade of Marmora and the Blades didn’t exactly like talking. But one hour of listening to the blue paladin ramble was really beginning to take a toll on Keith.

“You may not know this but back at home in Cuba, everyone used to-”

“Lance,” he finally interrupted, “maybe we should concentrate and deal with the fact that we’re probably lost in a cave with no signal. And our actual mission.”

Holding his hands up, Lance nodded. “Okay. Right.” He frowned as he walked with deliberate exaggerated movements. “Find the device. Find the device. Find the device.”

“Please at least add ‘Find a way out’ to your weird chant,” Keith said in an exasperated tone.

They trudged on through the humid cave until they reached a fork. With a loud frustrated sigh, Keith asked, “Left or right?”

“Left.”

He turned around with a frown. “You keep choosing left.”

“Because when it’s your turn, you keep choosing right!” Lance said and Keith roll his eyes in resignation before turning left. “I don’t get why anyone would build a rebel base over here. You could get lost in a place like this!”

“Isn’t that precisely the purpose of building it here?”

“Yeah! But it’s so complicated that we’re now lost!” Lance shoved a holographic map into Keith’s face. “I don’t even know where we are right now! And we can’t even contact anyone,” he said as he squinted at the screen that looked more like a drawing of a million squiggly worms instead of an actual map. “If only we had a GPS.”

As Keith was about to make a remark about how a GPS wouldn’t work so far out in space, the road ended with what looked like a door. His face lit up with relief. “We found it!” he yelled as he ran forward. He located the keypad quickly and punched in the code that he had memorised before the mission.

The keypad made a beeping noise and blinked green as the rusty door rumbled open. The both of them had their weapons up and ready just in case but when they entered and saw that there wasn’t anyone else, they relaxed while the door closed behind them. Keith made a beeline for the desk at the opposite end of the wall. Gingerly, he looked through the cluttered desk and looked into the cupboards.

Meanwhile, Lance looked around the room. It was covered in dust and there were books and pieces of paper scattered across the floor. There was what looked like a bed at the side of the room and several computers on the floor in another corner. As he inspected the numerous computers, he saw something that piqued his interest. “Hey, Keith,” he said, waving for him to come over.

“Wait a second…” Keith replied as he yanked open the cupboard behind the desk. However, as soon as he opened it, pink gas gushed out. He covered his mouth and nose and Lance gasped as he followed suit. However, the bright pink gas took too long to dissipate through the tiny vent in the room and the two boys eventually couldn't hold their breath any longer and were forced to breathe. After the first intake of air, Keith felt his head swirl and his body grow heavy. He saw Lance flopping to the floor from the corner of his eye. Then, Keith’s legs could hold his weight no longer and he crashed to the ground, falling unconscious.

 

* * *

 

When Keith woke up, his head was pounding. It felt like the morning after chugging cans and cans of cheap beer to drown his own sorrows. (No, of course he didn’t do that at some point after he was expelled from the Garrison and was hit with the suffocating realisation that Shiro was probably never going to return.) He sat up slowly and rubbed his temples. His vision was still rather blurry but from the lack of pink, he concluded that the strange gas had dissipated.

Keith heard himself scream.

Panic rose in his throat. He didn’t scream. What was that? He shook his head and blinked rapidly, willing his sight to clear. Squinting through the fog, he noticed a dark figure rise and make its way towards him unsteadily. Keith reached for his blade at his belt to find his fingers curling around something that wasn’t the blade, but was still familiar.

As Keith swung the weapon in his hand, which he quickly realised was a bayard, it transformed. But instead of the usual comfortable weight of a blade, he felt the weapon tip forward, completely unbalanced.

He made a noise of surprise, only to notice this voice was too high-pitched, too smooth to be his own. He looked down and saw blue armour instead of his black suit and in his right hand was a red rifle.

“Keith?” he heard his own voice say. The figure tried to crouch but fell down with a grunt. “Keith, buddy, is that you?”

His vision refocused and when he was able to see clearly again, he found himself gazing into his own... eyes? “Who are you?” he demanded.

“I’m Lance,” his lookalike replied. “I-I think that weird pink gas swapped our bodies, or something.”

“Swapped our what?” Keith asked. He looked to his side and saw several computers on the floor. Every single unlit screen reflected the same image of Lance staring right back at him. Heart pounding, he lifted his hand to touch his own face and saw the reflected Lance do the same. “Oh god, no.”

“Same to be honest,” Lance said with a wince. “We should head back to the castle as quickly as possible.”

Keith squinted at the screen and found Lance’s reflection looked too skinny. He should be eating more. Pushing the thought away for next time, he said, “Maybe Coran will know something.”

Then, Lance showed Keith the machine he had been holding. “Okay, so I think I found the device we were looking for in the cupboard you opened. But anyway, mission complete! Pidge would be so glad to know that we have the decoding thingy and now she has this body swapping thing to poke around with.”

A look of discomfort crossed their faces at the thought. As much as they liked the little nerd, she could get a little extreme.

“Oh! And also,” Lance said in a sing song voice, making Keith cringe because, as far as he knew, his voice wasn’t meant to do that, “I found a pretty important-looking book right here.” He bent forward and tried to take something from the pile. There was an awkward moment as Lance stretched forward but couldn’t reach the thing he wanted. He blinked several times in slight puzzlement before he groaned and waddled over clumsily. “Damn, Keith, your arms are short,” he said as he grabbed what looked like a journal from behind one of the computers.

“Wha-” Keith shot Lance a glare. “Excuse me?!”

“You’ve been excused,” he replied as he sat on his legs. Keith growled but Lance ignored him. “There are coordinates and information about planets.”

Keith peered over his shoulder and read some of the pages as Lance flipped through them briefly. “Yeah, this may be useful for us. We don’t have many allies in this part of the universe so this will help us navigate through it.”

Lance placed both these items into a small bag they had brought for the mission. “We could look around. See if we can find anything neat.” When he tried standing up, however, Lance swayed and toppled onto Keith, who growled in annoyance. “Um… sorry. Not used to moving around yet.” Lance tried to get up but lost his balance, tumbling down again. Laughing nervously, he tried another time but only further entangled himself with Keith.

“Can you just get off me?” Keith tried to push him off but his hands felt too weak and could barely lift him off by an inch before they started to shake.

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m trying to. So don’t get your knickers in a twist.” Lance gasped. “Wait, that’d be my knickers.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Lance, I swear to god. How do you even make an already bad situation worse?”

After a lot of struggling and shoving, the two boys managed to roll out of the tangle. Keith tried to stand up but tripped over and stumbled around like a newborn fawn. _How can anyone be so much limbs?_ he thought angrily.

Lance was the first to get used to the new body and was able to walk around somewhat naturally. Soon, he was able to jog slowly around the room as he looked around. “Honestly, your body is pretty amazing and light. I can feel your muscles just by walking around. Your obsessive training does pay off, huh?” Lance said as he walked around. “But your arms and legs are kind of short. And tiny cute hands!” he said a little excitedly as he held them out. “They’re children hands.”

“My hands are not tiny or cute! And they’re not children hands!” Keith snapped. “It’s just that your arms and legs are too long.” He had only just mastered the art of standing up without swaying. Carefully, he placed one foot in front of the other as he pathetically held on to heavy furniture to steady himself. When he had finally figured out how to move around, albeit still slightly stiffly, Lance had already investigated the entire room.

“There’s nothing interesting left in this room. I think we can leave now,” Lance said as he walked over to Keith.

At that, Keith felt a pang of guilt. He couldn’t even walk properly even after Lance had figured everything out and went around the room by himself. He couldn’t even do this simple thing by himself. Why was he such a failure?

“Keith, are you alright?” Lance asked worriedly. “U-um… if you… Just ask me for help if you need it. W-we should hurry up,” he muttered as he projected the holographic map again. He grabbed Keith by his upper arm and pulled him gently along, all the while talking to fill in the silence.

But a numbing misery muted Lance’s voice as Keith felt energy being sapped from him. He was going to be an awful burden at this rate. And he’s even making Lance worry about him. How pathetic could he be? He needed to quickly get used to this body. He couldn’t let himself be a useless waste of space.

Then, Keith forced himself out of what he realised weren’t his own thoughts. If these weren’t his, where did they come from? Did these thoughts actually belong to… He watched Lance, who chatted animatedly.

Surely not.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta reader: @galaxy-gayrrison from tumblr
> 
> mwahahahaha! ok bye enjoy this one

As the two of them headed back to the entrance of the cave, now at least with some direction, Lance couldn’t help the flip-flops in his belly. In his anxiety, he had begun to ramble again, trying his best to erase the silence. Occasionally, he would turn from the map to look at Keith to make sure he was okay while in Lance’s body.

Lance actually felt lighter after the switch, and that should have warned him from the start. It was only when he saw Keith’s sluggishness and look of worry that it hit him: if he was feeling great now in a new body, that means Keith must be feeling the heaviness that Lance had already gotten used to before. It was definitely tough on Keith because he probably had no idea why he was feeling so lethargic and having so many negative thoughts. 

Once he realised this, Lance made it his duty to ensure that there was not even a single moment of silence because he knew his own head best and he knew how the quiet gave time for his brain to start spiralling endlessly into the dark. Admittedly, it was awfully strange to hear Keith’s voice talk for such a long period of time. Lance half-expected his jaw to break off after reaching some sort of talking time limit but he was pleasantly surprised to find himself talking for so long without suffering any jaw injury. 

However, there was something else more alarming than the near negligible probability of jaw injury. It had only been two hours after they left the hideout but Keith had already asked for several five-minute breaks. Keith had never asked for breaks but now he kept getting tired. Lance knew why and felt awful for it so, each time, he would feign exhaustion in hopes that Keith wouldn’t have to feel too bad. He was well-aware that there was no way for Keith to avoid the permanent aching weight in his chest but what Lance could do was lessen it. 

They sat down on the ground for a break again and he continued to speak. While Lance was talking about the pet goldfish his sister killed within a day of getting it, Keith interrupted him, “Lance, does your body always feel this tired?”

Instantly, Lance froze. “What do you mean?” he said with a nervous laugh.

Luckily, Keith, having little to no ability to read people and expressions, did not notice Lance’s discomfort. “I just keep getting tired and I’m getting really worried…”

“It… It must be the pink gas! That’s why I’m feeling tired too!” He felt a wave of relief as he watched Keith nod in understanding. “We better head back as fast as we can. I mean, without overexerting ourselves. The faster we get this over with, the faster we can feel better again!”

Thank god Keith had accepted that as an explanation. If he hadn’t, he would have figured everything out and no matter how Lance imagined it go down, it never had a good ending.

 

* * *

Hunk held his hands up. “Wait, you’re telling me that you are Keith,” he said slowly as he gestured at the boy in the blue armour, and then at the boy in the Marmoran suit, “and you’re Lance.”

“Now, you’re getting it!” Lance said, putting his hands on his hips, as he scanned the room for some form of understanding. There was only more confusion on the faces of Hunk, Pidge and Allura. Behind Lance, Keith crossed his arms. 

Placing a hand on Lance’s shoulder, Pidge said, “Look, Keith. You don’t have to act like an idiot. Is the blackmail material Lance has against you that bad?”

“There’s no blackmail material against me!” Keith yelled at the same time that Lance protested against being called an idiot. 

“Keith… seems to be unexpectedly good at acting this time…” Allura muttered to herself.

“That’s because I’m not acting!” Keith yelled.

With a sigh, Lance said, “Okay. How about I say something only Lance will know. Um… Hunk, for your birthday last year, I gave you a mug with a puppy on it.”

Loudly, Hunk gasped before narrowing his eyes in suspicion. “Correct, but what kind of puppy was it?”

“Dalmatian.”

“Where do I put it usually?”

“On the top right corner of your desk.” There was a moment of hesitation. “Sometimes you accidentally leave it in the pantry.”

“Why did you get that for me?”

Smirking, Lance said, “Because you insisted cats were cuter and I was going to win you over to Team Dog. I succeeded.”

“Ok, guys,” Hunk said. “Either you two are really good at this, or you’re telling the truth.”

Keith groaned. “How many times do we have to say this? We switched bodies!”

Allura’s eyes went wide. “And you two said a pink gas did this?”

“Did you manage to collect the gas?” Pidge asked, her eyes sparkling with interest. 

The two of them exchanged looks, then slowly shook their heads. “We’ve got a book?” Lance said helpfully, lifting the information book he had found earlier, which Allura took to read immediately. 

The glint in Pidge’s eyes, however, dimmed. Her head dropped in disappointment as she muttered to herself, “Of course! You two are the biggest idiots in this entire ship. What had I expected?” Raising her head, Pidge said, “We will need to run a test and pray the chemicals can still be identified. Allura, do you know how to operate the cryopod to scan them?”

Allura didn’t quite hear her at first, her eyes wide with awe as she flipped through the book. Then, she realised she was being asked a question. “Unfortunately not…” she replied with a frown. “I will contact Coran and ask him to come back from the mall immediately.” Hurriedly, she ran to the control room with Pidge behind her. 

Uncomfortable with the sudden silence, Lance asked, “Speaking of Coran, how well do you think the space mall is handling Shiro?”

Hunk winced. “Hopefully, better than us. The last time we went with Coran, it was a wreck,” Hunk said with a sigh. 

Arms still crossed, Keith huffed. “There’s literally no way Shiro will do worse than all four of us combined.” 

“At least we got Kaltenecker,” Lance had to point out.

“I’ll admit, that’s the only good thing that happened,” Keith said, smiling a little.

That lifted the weight Lance didn’t even realise had been on his shoulders. At least, it wasn’t all that bad if Keith can smile, even a little.

After Hunk proudly announced that he finally figured out a way to make ice-cream out of Kaltenecker’s milk, Lance let out a loud whoop and wrapped his arm around his buddy’s shoulder. Then, he realised his hand couldn’t reach the opposite shoulder like it usually could. Just as he was about to make a comment about the length of Keith’s arms again, he stopped himself. He shouldn’t make fun of Keith while he’s in Lance’s brain. Who else but Lance best knew how words could turn into crushing weights and flood his head?

He made a mental note to himself to be extra careful about what he said. It wouldn’t be good for anyone if he accidentally triggered a Bad Day for Keith. 

 

* * *

 

Keith and Lance could no longer avoid it. 

At first, the stickiness of their skin against their body suit was annoying but they could ignore it. Then, feeling way too warm in the armour, they took those off and released an awful stench into the room. Hunk, who had been waiting for news about Coran and Shiro in the lounge with them, scrunched up his nose and looked up to find the source of the odour. Once he realised what it was, he just went back to his tinkering and shifted away from the other two as subtly as he could.

When Allura and Pidge returned, their originally neutral faces twisted into looks of disgust. “What is that smell?” Pidge cried as she pinched her nose. “Smells like Matt during puberty!” Then, her eyes fell on the two boys in their body suits. “It’s you two, isn’t it?”

Keith and Lance blinked at her and sniffed their clothes. At the same time, they winced. Yup, they smelled bad.

“Oh no,” Allura said, an obvious hint in her tone. “Coran will take some time to be back. And we will probably have to clean the pods after you two use it if you go in with that pungent odour.”

There was a moment of silent anticipation as no one dared to ask for the obvious before Keith groaned. “Fine! We get it,” he muttered, standing up and walking out of the lounge. 

Lance ran after him and whispered urgently, “Keith! Wait! What are we— How are we going to do this?”

While Keith went to his room and opened the cupboard, taking some of the old clothes, Lance stayed outside. “I’m thinking we could just pour loads of nice-smelling powder onto ourselves and leave it—”

That got him a loud scandalised gasp. “Keith, that’s gross and unhygienic! I’m not going to let my skin get all pimply because of you! We’ll have a proper bath.”

“You do know what that means, right?” 

“We can bathe with swimsuits on.”

Keith sighed loudly. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Fine,” Lance said in resignation as he stormed to his room and Keith followed after. “We’ll make it quick,” he said as he grabbed a new set of clothes.

They went into the communal bathroom. Holding up a finger, Lance said, “Okay, some rules. No comments or weird staring or comparisons. I already know I’m hot.” In that moment, Lance decided he really liked the way Keith’s voice sounds when he said the last sentence. 

On the other hand, Keith groaned and rolled his eyes as he went straight into a cubicle.

“You’re going to do it now?!” Lance squeaked. 

“No, Lance, I’m coming in here to rest in eternal sleep after hearing my own voice say that,” Keith replied. “It’s disgusting.”

Lance felt a smirk grow and cleared his throat. With the most sultry voice possible, he said, “Babe, you’re so hot. Darling, cupcake, sweetheart.”

“Lance, stop right now. I have the power of ripping your dick off right this instant.”

“I’m sorry.” It took a moment before he registered the statement. “W-wait, you’re that quick?”

The water in the other cubicle started. 

Alrighty then. 

As speedily as he could, he removed his clothes and stood under the shower head. He turned on the water.

But as he soaped up, he couldn’t help but notice the large scar on Keith’s right shoulder. He remembered the large gash on Keith’s shoulder when he first came back from the Blade of Marmora. That was when he caught sight several other scars. He had never had the opportunity to look at Keith’s body properly but he now saw that on his fair skin, in between the numerous little freckles, there were a lot of scars and even some unhealed wounds. So, despite the rules he set before, he inspected the now slightly marred skin.

Being a Blade must be difficult if even Keith, who was honestly one of the best fighters Lance had ever known, could get this many injuries. Their missions must be dangerous and tough. And they didn’t have healing pods. That got Lance wondering how they treated the Blades with grave injuries.

Further down that line of thought, Lance imagined Keith gravely injured and without a healing pod. He remembered Matt telling everyone what Keith had almost done in a moment of desperation when Voltron wasn’t fast enough and a planet-sized time bomb was ticking. He held that thought, letting the gravity of it sink in. This was what Keith signed up for?

Lance pushed the thought away. It was Keith’s choice. He reminded himself not to judge. However, that didn’t stop him from noticing several other scars. It took him a while to recognise it but there was a bitter feeling on his tongue when he did.

Before he could stop himself, Lance said, “Keith, you have cigarette butt scars.”

The water at the other cubicle stopped abruptly. There was a long chilling silence before Lance heard his own voice say, “There was this woman in my orphanage that everyone hated.”

“Orphanage? Wait, Keith,” Lance said, stopping the water at his side, “you’re an orphan?”

Suddenly, the shower on Keith’s side was turned on again. But Lance caught the hiccups behind the sound of running water. 

His breath hitched. He screwed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do tell me if you guys spot any mistakes! (But also just comment for whatever. Nonsense words will work wonders too.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta reader: @galaxy-gayrrison from tumblr
> 
> Lance, you screwed up!!! NOOOO! (Honestly idk what to write in this space but it feels cool to have an author's note)

Keith never quite liked the sea. The pool was fine, and so was a lake or a river. The sea? That was a completely different story. He didn’t get why Lance would love talking about the beaches in Cuba like it was some sort of godly place but he respected that. Different people had different preferences after all.

That was why when he noticed how he was feeling heavy and sluggish and a little bit distant, as if he was bobbing around in the sea with water weighing him down, he chalked it up to just weird Lance things. Then, Keith felt the feeling build. What was just heaviness at first turned into absolute exhaustion by the time they reached the red lion. The self-accusative thoughts that beat him down didn’t help him either.

On the way back, he sat quietly by the side and let Lance continue rambling on as he tried to recuperate. However, when he reached the castle, it felt almost as if he was floating helplessly in the middle of the sea, the shores growing further and further from his reach. He felt himself slowly drifting and sinking with every passing minute. All he could do was try to keep his head above the water as he looked around in confusion.

He was probably doing fine. Even though there was still the imminent danger of falling beneath the water surface, Keith hadn’t yet and he felt that he’s got the hang of the situation at least.

“Keith, you have cigarette butt scars.”

It took a while for Keith to register the fact that he had stopped the water and all there was in the room was his breathing, running water from Lance’s cubicle and, distantly, the sound of waves. Reassured with the knowledge that his voice felt steady enough, he said, “There was this woman in my orphanage that everyone hated.”

He remembered the searing pain that he used to get if he got back too late or complained about getting celery for dinner again. Everyone in school knew how he got those burns but no one cared, not even the teachers. No one ever cared about the orphan. Keith bet that if he wasn’t known to be a tough fighter in school, the other kids would have messed with him too. 

The water stopped at Lance’s side. “Orphanage? Wait, Keith, you're an orphan?”

Normally, Keith would just shrug it off. It still stung but he was used to it by now. However, when he opened his mouth to reply, a wave washed over him. The sea in Lance’s mind was suddenly wild and stormy. Keith was no longer just bobbing in the sea, instead he felt himself being thrown about like a rag doll. His bottom lip began to tremble and tears threatened to spill.

Before the first whimper escaped, Keith turned on the tap again, not wanting to be heard. How embarrassingly needy would it make him if he made Lance concerned about him? He dug the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying desperately to push the useless tears back into his eyes. Why was he being so pathetic? This shouldn’t make him feel this way. Why was he overreacting? 

His own head was screaming at him. Mercilessly, walls of water crashed down on him. Why was it that when the rest of the universe had a family and a home to return to, he had nothing but a shack in the middle of a desert? But he shouldn’t blame his father. It’s not like he wanted to die. Neither should he blame his mother, she was a Blade, judging by the Marmoran knife given to him, and she couldn’t just give up her cause for some baby. However, Keith found himself angry with them. Why did they leave him?

In a distant part of his mind, he registered Lance knocking his cubicle door and calling his name over and over again. However, Keith felt himself sinking deeper beneath the waters as he sat down on the floor and warm water fell on him. He was too far down in the whirlpool of thoughts. 

While he was in the Galaxy Garrison, he had felt a sense of belonging and the reassuring knowledge that he was born to be a pilot. Then the Kerberos mission happened, and Shiro, his anchor, was gone. Although he never regretted delivering the blow that damaged Iverson’s eye when he insulted Shiro, he did regret losing that opportunity of doing the one thing he knew he could be useful doing. Once again, Keith was cast aside for the umpteenth time in his life and had nowhere he could return. 

The sense of belonging returned to him in the shape of a strange alien robot. Even that couldn’t last either but he was used to that by now so it didn’t hurt as much. (Who the hell was he lying to? Like every other time, it had ripped him apart because, for a moment, he genuinely thought he had found a family at long last amongst the strange but loving group of people.) 

_ But, of course, no one really cares about you. _

The sea in Lance’s head had swallowed him whole. Keith was too tired to try to pull himself out of whatever he was submerged in. Besides, it felt like he couldn’t find a way out and the situation was hopeless. With neither the energy nor direction to swim up, he just drifted.

“Keith!” Lance said as he shook him gently. “Hey, are you okay there, buddy?”

It was almost as if a hand had reached into the dark violent waters and pulled him up a little. Waves still hit his face but he could breathe. That was when he realised that the shower water was no longer running and he was wrapped in a towel. At some point, he had curled into a tight ball and squeezed his eyes closed.

“Keith?” Lance said. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t… Please say something..”

Keeping his eyes shut, Keith took in a large gulp of air. He wanted to say something like “I’m feeling really awful.” or “This day has been really rough for me.”. 

Yet, every fibre of this body screamed bloody murder.  _ No! You’re being annoying! Stop it! Say you’re fine! _

“I’m f-fine.” 

“Breath slowly, okay? Follow me. Breathe in… and hold...”

Keith’s breathing was shaky but he tried to follow Lance. He felt tension leave his chest and he was no longer trembling as much. He was still beneath the surface of the water but the waves have calmed down and the sea rocked him as he floated wearily in it. It was hard to tell how long he had been sitting there before Lance asked, “Better?”

“Yeah,” he said. 

He heard a small smile in Lance’s sigh of relief. “Good.” Through the fluffy towel, Keith felt Lance rest a hand on his back. “Do you… want to talk about it? I-I usually feel better after talking to someone.”

Keith felt something yell at him to stop right now — that he was being a burden. He had been avoiding talking about his feelings. After he had nearly sacrificed himself for the universe, the others had wanted to talk to him. So, in response, he avoided them. He only began interacting with them again when they no longer pressed him for a talk. 

However, now, there was more need than ever to speak up. It took so much in Keith to do it but he finally defied the discouraging voice and said, “I’ve been feeling really tired all day actually. Lately, I haven’t been feeling too well but today was particularly bad. Pink gas maybe. But… leaving Voltron was particularly hard for me, I guess.”

Finally, Keith had enough strength to open his eyes and look up. It was a bit of a relief to find that Lance had grabbed a robe for himself. 

“I’m going to sound stupid but I honestly thought I might have a family again. I guess not. It’s better like this anyway.”

Lance cocked his head and those purple eyes went wide. “Why? Of course, we’re family.”

“I don’t belong here! Not anymore!” Keith said. His shoulders shook slightly and he wiped his eyes. The towel slid down his shoulders slightly and he pulled it around himself tighter. “Look, the thing is, I’m not needed here.”

“That’s not true. You’ve always belonged. Maybe the Blade of Marmora needs you right now, but that doesn’t mean we don’t need you or that you aren’t family. Look, Allura had to pretend to be you for the war effort.”

Keith frowned at him.

“You didn’t see those shows? How are you still living under a rock this far out in space? You seriously need to watch the videos. I’ll show you later,” Lance said with a smile. “The point I’m making is you’re super important and you’re a part of this team, even if you’re space-ninja-ing somewhere else.”

“Space-what? What’s that supposed to be?” Somehow, he smiled despite his blocked nose and tears. He shook his head and said, “Anyway, it just doesn’t work that way. I’m not a part of this team anymore. I’ve just never fit in. I’m a loner! Pidge said so too, right?” His voice was thick with misery. “No one ever wants a loner in their team. You guys are going to push me away someday. It happens every time so I can’t expect anything to change.”

Purple orbs widened. “Is that why you left? Because you’re scared that we—”

“It doesn’t matter.” Keith couldn’t stop. Words kept spilling, and so did his tears. “Besides, I’m not piloting the lions so I’m much more useful as a Blade anyway. Even then, I’m not really needed there. The Marmora have been going on without me for thousands of years. It doesn’t really matter to them if I’m not there. The war will continue without me. The mission is more important than one person after all. Especially since I’m not a part of Voltron anymore.”

Lance looked at him, jaw slack. “Is that really what you think? All this time? Is that… is that why you were going to sacrifice yourself? But, Keith, you can’t be replaced. Your life is so so important. I don’t know what we’d do if anything happened to you.” Lance placed both hands on Keith’s shoulders and turned him slightly to face him. “You’re a part of Voltron no matter what. We’ll always be here for you. You have a family, Keith. And it’s us.”

The wall which held Keith up and distanced him away from everyone else collapsed. Floodgates opened and he felt himself fall apart. Salty drops ran down his cheeks and dripped from his chin. Keith let Lance pull him into a warm, tight embrace as he buried his face into his shoulder. As raw sobs wracked his body, the millions of open wounds and old scars of his soul both hurt and healed at the same time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, any mistakes, feel free to drop a little note! *looks at empty inbox* Please fill this up with stuff pls. I'm a little despo.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta-weadew: @galaxy-gayrrison from tumblr
> 
> LAST ROUND!! Whoop! Whoop! It's Lance's turn now!

Everyone except Keith were gathering around the holographic screen showing the results of Lance’s body scan. Despite how much he hated it, Lance entered the cryopod. Once he was out, he gratefully accepted the cup of warm milk that Hunk had prepared. His best friend was truly a blessing. Lance settled down at the side, looking at the screen even though he didn’t understand the strange complicated writings.

“Hm… I recognise this!” Coran exclaimed as he pulled his moustache. “Why, it’s Vallume! These are incredibly rare and expensive!”

At this, Pidge shot Lance another glare. “Seriously,” she said, sighing loudly. “Why hadn’t you brought some back? We could do so much with something as amazing as… whatever-its-name-is.” Keith, who had escaped to his room to rest, was gone, leaving Pidge to take out most of her annoyance on Lance.

Shiro straightened his back after he craned his neck to look over everyone else to have a peek at the screen. “Coran, is there a cure?” he asked, his brow furrowed. “Can they go back to normal?”

“Actually, there isn’t one.”

Lance’s face blanched. If he thought Keith’s normal skin colour was pale, it couldn’t compare to the shade of white he turned. “You mean, we’re stuck like this?”

“This is terrible!” Allura exclaimed, her hands flying to her mouth. “How will we form Voltron?”

“And will this affect their health? Keith has been feeling unwell after all. Lance said he’s been feeling sick since the soul-switching, right?” Hunk asked nervously.

Upon hearing that, Shiro leapt to action. “I better go check on Keith, right away.” He took large strides out of the room, his movements stiff and quick.

Heart leaping to his throat, Lance ran after Shiro to tell him not to do that but they both stopped when Coran cleared his throat. “Before I was rudely interrupted, I was going to say that only time can cure this. This chemical can only last for about 8 vargas before the effects are cancelled and their quintessence return to their original bodies,” he explained. “There’s no need for unnecessary panic, Paladins and Princess.”

Lance’s shoulders fell in relief.

“That’s another needless heart attack to add to our growing list,” Pidge muttered, a smile on her lips.

“I do apologise for that confusion,” Coran said sheepishly. “However, Lance, it would be best if you stayed close to Keith. The reversion requires close proximity for it to be smoother. Judging from your Vallume blood concentration, the reversion will occur within three vargas.”

“Oh, so around 3 am,” Lance said. “Wait, did I guess right?”

Hunk calculated in his head for a while. “You’re right.”

“Then, we shall all retire for the night,” Allura said. “It wouldn’t help anyone if we only stood around here worrying. We should all rest. Lance, you shall stay with Keith’s room for the night.”

Somehow managing to pull off his signature look even in the new body, he said flirtatiously, “But I’d much rather be staying in yours though.”

Instantly, Allura’s face twisted, as if she had just watched a rabbit give birth to a toad. Exasperatedly, she shook her head and threw her hands up before exiting the room.

Meanwhile, the look on Pidge’s face was absolute gold. “I just saw Keith flirting. My eyes are permanently scarred,” she said, grimacing, as she left after Allura. “This defies every single rule in the universe.”

“Well, this is Keith-Lance and not Keith-Keith. So… it’s not really counted?” Hunk followed behind Pidge, looking uncomfortable himself.

Lance stretched his arms as he stood up and heard several popping sounds. Keith’s body sure got stiff easily. Maybe he could introduce Keith to stretching exercises or something to loosen those stiff muscles.

Just as he was about to leave as well, Shiro pat his shoulder. “Lance,” he said. “Is everything alright with Keith? Does he need help?”

“He’s fine right now,” Lance said.

Nonetheless, Shiro’s face was still tense with worry.

“He just needs to rest.” Lance put on his most reassuring smile. “I’ll go back. If I need help, I’ll definitely call you guys. Don’t worry!”

At this, the Black Paladin relaxed slightly. “I’ll be counting on you then.”

 

* * *

 

Lance hadn’t even fully opened Keith’s bedroom door when he heard, “What did Coran say?”

Blue eyes stared at him, blinking slowly. It was unnerving to see his own eyes in the dark. “Oh, you’re awake. Didn’t I tell you to get some rest?” he said as he switched on the lights.

“How do you expect me to do that when I’m anxious as hell?” Keith protested, sitting up. “I need to know what Coran said.”

“According to him, we’ll get back our bodies at around 3am. I’ll need to stick around in your room till then.” Lance raised the blankets in his hand for Keith to see. “And I’m prepared to get comfy,” he said as he dropped the blankets on the floor, revealing a basket of skin-care products. “Also, we’re pampering ourselves today.”

“Don’t you already pamper yourself every night?” Keith smiled. “It won’t hurt to skip once.”

Dramatically, Lance rolled his eyes. “Do you know how much pain and agony I have to go through to maintain the beautiful face that you’ve got the honour of having today, you heathen?” He patted Keith’s cheeks. “Your skin is so dry I can practically feel it peeling off! And here I thought your voice was the only thing that cracked. Not to mention full of pimples.”

“My face is not full of pimples!” Keith retorted. Curious, he craned his neck and peered into the basket. “Did you bring all of this all the way from Earth or something?”

Lance scrunched up his nose. “Who do you think I am? Doraemon?”

“Dora…?”

“That’s actually a completely different character. Dora is a little girl and Doraemon is a cat robot,” Lance said and received a judging look from Keith. “We’re watching TV together one day, I swear.” He placed the basket at the foot of Keith’s bed. Before he started the nightly session, Lance decided to prepare a makeshift bed with the blankets on the floor.

As Lance lay the thickest one on the floor, Keith asked with no warning whatsoever, “You’re running out of antidepressants, aren’t you?”

Lance was the one to reveal the truth, but hearing Keith say that made his heart skip a beat.

“What will you do when it’s all used up?”

Lance pressed against the creases of the blanket and shrugged.

Back in the shower, when Keith had calmed down enough, Lance encouraged him to freshen up by showering again (“It’ll make you feel slightly better, trust me.”) and wear the soft robe Lance had taken from Keith’s room. It was simultaneously comforting and strange to see him in a red robe. On the one hand, Keith looked warm and comfy, and, on the other, red really didn’t suit Lance.

Then, Lance settled Keith into his bedroom, which none of them had touched although Keith had moved out a long time ago. He grabbed some of his medication from his own room and a cup of warm water from the kitchen. When he came back, Keith was sitting up with a blanket wrapped tightly around him, his eyes lidded with exhaustion. Clenching his teeth, Lance sat down beside Keith’s bed and gave him a pill and the cup.

“I need to tell you the truth,” he said, Keith’s voice cracking easily and betraying Lance’s emotions. “I have depression. No one but my family back in Cuba knows that, I think. But… that’s why you hear that toxic voice and feel like you’re drowning in your own feelings. I usually take antidepressants but I… forgot that today. And the thing is, ‘cause you were all stressed out, things just…” Lance made a downhill motion with his hand. “Phoooff.”

He had expected some sort of reaction but Keith just took the pill without question and flopped down onto his bed. After some time, Hunk was knocking on the door, calling for Keith. Lance yelled that he’d be coming soon. When he asked Keith whether he’d rather go out or rest, Keith chose the latter option.

“Is this the last one?” Keith asked, waving the medicine bottle. “There’s only 6 of them left inside.”

Lance continued to pat the blanket to smoothen it out. “It’s the only bottle I brought from Earth,” he said at last.

“Then, what are you going to do?”

“What is there I can do?”

“We could tell the othe—”

“And then what? All that’ll do is make them worry,” Lance said, standing up. He threw the other blanket on top of the thicker one on the floor, picked up the basket and sat down on the floor. “Alright, alright! Let’s forget about that. This always makes me feel better.”

Although Keith was frowning, he still sat down on the floor, facing Lance. He watched as Lance took out several bottles and containers and wore a pink fluffy headband. He scowled when he was handed a spare but he put it on anyway.

Lance opened a container of beauty mud. “Okay, so follow what I do,” he said as he took some of the smooth, soft mud. “Don’t take too much, it’s pretty hard to get nice ones like this.” While looking at a mirror he had set on Keith’s bed, he rubbed it onto his face.

Narrowing his eyes at the light brown paste, Keith stuck his finger in and scooped out a small wad. “I can’t believe you’re putting mud on my face,” he said as he grimaced at Lance, who had already applied a mud mask onto what was technically Keith’s face.

“Just put it on already! And stop pouting!”

“I don’t pout!” Keith said although he clearly was doing that right now. “Fine, I’ll put it on.” He turned the mirror towards himself and gingerly applied the mud onto his face, frowning in concentration.

Lance sighed. “Keith, you’re going to give my face wrinkles at this rate.” He flicked Keith on the forehead, causing him to yelp. “Frown less, man.”

Rolling his eyes, Keith grumbled under his breath and continued applying it. When he was done, Lance told Keith to time for fifteen minutes. They’d wash off the mud mask after that.

At the mention of waiting, Keith groaned, slumping against the wall. The two sat in silence and, despite his initial reactions, Keith looked relaxed and comfortable as he closed his eyes. Lance could hear the sound of breathing and feel his own chest expand, and deflate, expand, and deflate.

Suddenly, Keith bolted upright. “We could tell the others,” he said, blue eyes wide.

“Huh?”

His lips were pulled back in a grin. “If you tell the others that you’re running out of antidepressants, they can help you. Maybe they could replicate it, or we could get someone to replicate it for you. We have connections now! And talking about it will help. We’ll know how to help you if you need that.”

“No, I’d rather not,” Lance replied.

Keith blinked several times before Lance’s words registered in his head. It didn’t make sense to him at all.  “Why not? It’s better than waiting till things get bad.”

“Only 3 minutes has passed,” Lance said as he glanced at the clock.

“Don’t avoid the topic, Lance.”

In that instant, Lance’s anger flared. “Just ‘cause I told you about my depression, doesn’t mean you can butt into my business!” he snapped.

Keith had pulled back slightly, his mouth slack with shock. It closed and he glared at Lance. “I’m not trying to butt into your business but I can’t just stand here and watch you like this!”

Bitterly, Lance muttered, “You’re going back with the Marmora anyway. You won’t need to watch.”

“I’m worried about you! Can’t you tell?” Keith yelled. “God! Just let us help you!”

“I don’t want to,” Lance said. He sounded childish but there was the unexplainable fear of revealing himself, and of letting others know that Lance wasn’t always the confident happy person he made it all out to be, and of letting them see under the mask he had so carefully created.

For a moment, Keith looked like he wanted to punch Lance but he paused and deflated. With a soft look, he said, “Lance, there’s nothing embarrassing or… I don’t know… unspeakable about having depression. It’s an illness, just like every other illness. It’ll take time to heal but in the meantime, the people around you help you recover. We can help you.”

Lance was aware of that. When he had gone for therapy, that was something he was reminded of regularly. Despite this, something within him still pulled him back. Not knowing what to say, he stayed silent.

“We all care about you too,” Keith continued. “We’ll always be here for you. We’re all a part of this team. If that’s how it works for me, it works like that for you too.”

Twiddling his thumbs, Lance muttered, “I don’t know… It’s just… I’m gonna end up being a burden to everyone. I’ll be making things difficult.”

“Lance, we are all burdens in some way. You make things difficult? Well, same for everyone else. I’m hot-headed. Hunk freaks out easily. I won’t be surprised if Pidge is half-robot. Allura can be too uptight. There are times when no one understands what Coran is saying. Shiro’s memories can come back at the worst possible times,” Keith said. “But we help each other out. We help with whatever burden we carry.”

“And that’s what friends are for?” Lance asked, his lips twitching into a smile of resignation.

Keith shook his head. “No, that’s what family’s for.”

Lance burst into laughter. “That’s so cheesy! Oh my god!”

Face turning dark red, Keith sputtered, “I’m just repeating what you said! You said we’re a family! No takebacks!”

Hugging his stomach, Lance wheezed, “But— But, oh my god, did you have to say it so dramatically? Oh, damn. Did you set that one up? Oh god.”

“Of course not!” he yelled, burying his face into his hands. “Oh shit.” He lifted his head and stared at his mud-covered hands.

Lance couldn’t stop laughing.

 

* * *

 

The two boys had fallen asleep before the switch happened, so Lance found himself lying on Keith’s bed in the morning with the familiar weight on his body. Yup, he was back in his own body. He turned his head and saw that the floor was empty. Keith must have woken up first and cleared everything. Still sleepy, he closed his eyes and snuggled into the warm blankets.

Loudly, the door opened and the lights were turned on. Lance let out a groan and pressed his face into the pillow. However, Keith began to shake him incessantly and he was forced to get up.

“Everyone’s waiting for you to eat breakfast!”

Slowly, Lance moved around, preparing for the day, but, eventually, Keith lost his patience and began shoving Lance around to hurry him up. Finally, he was ready to head down for breakfast.

“You promised me last night you’d tell,” Keith reminded him as they walked down. “I’m making sure you do that before Kolivan comes to get me.”

There was a pang in Lance’s heart. “You’re leaving so soon?”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Keith said, “The Marmora has a lot of things to do and… I think it’s best if I get back as soon as I can.” He held up his hands. “Don’t worry! I-I won’t do anything reckless anymore. I promise. And I’ll tell you guys if I need help.”

“You promised!” Lance said. “If you ever die, I’ll kill you.”

Keith laughed before turning to the front again.

Lance stared at the Blade. It was a perfectly logical explanation and it’s the given that he would go back with the Blade of Marmora. Still, Lance had the urge to grab his hand and say, “You don’t need to go.” He chalked that temptation up to anxiety and worry for his teammate.

With great effort, Lance held himself back. Keith can take care of himself and if he ever needed it, this team will support him.

Then, as he moved further and further forward, Lance felt weight build up brick by brick in his chest. Then, they were both just outside the dining area. Lance’s heart racing as he quivered. He wasn’t ready. _You’re doing that annoying thing with your hands again. How about you just stop? Wouldn’t that be easier? To not drag others down with you?_

He looked up at Keith, who had been watching him the whole time. Simultaneously, the two boys shared a knowing look of reassurance, comfort, and fondness. They could hear the sound of cutlery, debating, laughing and chatting.

Yeah. This was the sound of family, alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading till the end (I lowkey feel like I'm writing to no one at this point tbh)!! It would mean the world to me if anyone told me they read my entire fic!! Again, feedback would be 10000% cool and I'll probably scream.
> 
> Whoever is reading this, you're super awesome and I hope this fic birthed by a pathetic writer has made your day! :)
> 
> Side note: I love Team Voltron as a family and stuff. I only wrote these two this time because I'm not too confident if I can handle so many characters... Hopefully, one day I'll be able to write more Team Voltron Family stuff. (Or maybe you guys recommend something nice haha!)
> 
> Edit: now that i can reveal myself. Come find me on tumblr @confusedsiewmai lololololol

**Author's Note:**

> This work is part of [VLD Tropes Fest](http://vldtropesfest.tumblr.com) | Comments and Kudos are appreciated | Anonymous creators will be revealed after the masterlist is posted!


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